you're a mystery yourself

23 September, 2009

11:56 PM

YESTERDAY: RESULTS DAY.

The time where you know how you fared and where you stand. For me, its nt all abt the GPA grades. Its abt the choice i settled on, the path i took, the bond, the people who walked beside me as i went thru, not forgetting the memories we made.

We all hv improvements to make, dont we? Even those who hit the GPA of 4, thr's always smth to be improved on. Some of you might not hv sastisfactory results, but that gives you even MORE reason to work even harder. Letting something so puny affect oneself isnt worth anything.

What has passed has passed. We cant go back, only forward. So would you rather go forth being strong, or would you be weaker than you alr are? Thr are a lot more battles up ahead, awaiting to be overcome, so KEEP THE FAITH. 'I give up' is for those who has alr done what they can.

Before studio project started, i felt extremely tired of trying to do my best as i struggled coping with all the deadlines Work nvr seems to end. I was very frightened then. I was still hving fever, and thr were so many things to be taken care of - so many responsibilities, and it was when i saw the criteria for studio project. Right after a blow, thr it was. Another blow...

I knew i had to trust God tt i'll get well, but i was unsure if i could cuz the fever was so unstable. I was so afraid it would affect how i do for my work, i was afraid i would jz get worse with the massive boulders stacking on me. All i felt like doing was to rest, BUT I COULDNT CUZ I HAD TO WORK ON PROJECT FOR THREE WEEKS.

That project was important to me.

Well, it didnt look like it was since i was slacking in the comm lab sitting by myself, while most of my classmates were busy building concepts. But they failed to see my tangled feelings.

I questioned why sickness had to hit me at such an ungodly timing...everything felt was like lighting a matchstick in water. Impossible. Crazy. Plus my family kept getting on my nerves during tt period, and i was being blamed for mking others sick. At such a time, it sucked k.

What i required and desired was encouragement. Also on the last few days of the project...i honestly needed those to hold me together.

Well, when i got the results, theyre the best ive ever gotten in a few yrs. Evon called me to ask if we could meet up earlier to hv breakfast...and thr was i, from saying 'Eh, grade point average is GPA rite?' to 'OMGGG!!!!!!! Hahahahaha. HOW DID YOU DO?! *breathe breathe*'. -_-

I think 'how did you do?' isnt a tinge more impt than 'Are you happy?'.

Currently i still get envious seeing others with much better grades than me. I do look up to them and wish that someday i'll be at their lvl. Thats okay.

Last time, i'll tk them as a goal, and try to attain grades as close to them, or try beating them. I dont think it's gd to do tt now, tho, simply bcuz i realised...i wont be happy.

Everyone of us hv our own pace and ability. Each time that gage/s did better than me, each time i didnt manage to get what i want, i wasnt happy. Comparing myself with another individual mks me feel worse than i alr was abt myself. Thats why i nvr want to do that again, and i'll hate it when anyone compares me to someone else. God made us different, unique in our ways.

'I can do it, so can you!' only applies sometimes, not all the time.

If you read my posts in history, or went thru with me my schl life before, youll know how bad my results were. Maybe i wasnt meant for studying books compared to others, lk how some ppl are better with theory than hands on. When i compare myself last time to now, i guess im tougher. All that failing made me tougher, and it all happened cuz i didnt give up.

It happened cuz i had ppl holding my hand...particularly my friends! During studio project for instance. I wont say who did what but,

The talking n company made me more relaxed.

The help given: be it giving comments, setting up the lightbox or giving space, teaching me to use softwares (which i didnt use in the end. Lol), supporting me, being thr for me, or letting me kop your food when im hungry (hee hee) was lovely.

You guys might not see this, but i rly like to say this heartfelt words.
For your presences, for all that, THANK YOU!
The three wks of fighting were very long, but we made it!

:D

♥ loves.