you're a mystery yourself

05 October, 2008

2:49 PM

I had an amazing convo with my mum in the morning which was stupid. Very stupid.

Me: Mummy, you emo ah? *intending to tease her*

Mum: What's emo?

Me: Emotional.

Mum: No, why?

Me: You're wearing red and black. Universal emo colour, hahaha.

Mum: *Looks at me* You emo ah?

Me: *feeling puzzled, i turned to look at what i'm wearing* Sheeeeeeeeeeesh. I didn't know!

Mum: HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Me: *embarrassingly giggles*

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After thinking abt what Shiying said, i guess she's right... I shldn't be too softhearted. I can't keep helping ppl even tho a part of me always yearns to help, cuz sometimes, i can't even help myself. I can't let ppl push me around and do what they ask me to. I need to learn to say NO. I need to think before i do smth.

Anw, in a matter of weeks, the sec4s would be facing the Os. I rly wished i started studying earlier...like in June or smth. Now, thr's so little time and it's very hard to make me study subjects i rly hate. If it were Art, i think i won't hv the mood to do it too, since others hv alr completed their exams and are free. My bro is using the comp. everyday and playing Warcraft for many hrs, so i feel the itch to use it too. However, nowadays, i don't find the need to use the comp., cuz thr's NOTHING to do here. At least not anymore... No more talking on MSN, cuz some ppl just aren't thr. No more talking on MSN, cuz i seriously don't know what to talk abt to some ppl now. Maybe they broke my heart before, but the emotions i feel is so hard to forget as i get reminded constantly. They just come knocking on my door again.

I'm able to forgive, but hv i done that? It's so difficult to forget... I want to be happy. I hv a choice to be happy. Others' actions or words aren't supposed to bring me down. I ought to hv the right attitude towards things, if not, it's me who's bringing myself down. It's my life. Why must i let my worries, frustrations, anger or fear affect my happiness? WHY AH, JANEEEELLL?

See
Meaning
In
Life
Everyday
!

Think happy happy meanings.
Live happy happy-ly.

Please luh, Janel. Why must you make yourself so unhappy? LET IT GO ALREADY. Find life's happiness. Search deep deep into your heart and find joy! Have the joy of the Lord in you. The joy of the Lord is your strength!!!

Eh, good offer leh. TAKE LUH!

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God said WORRY FOR WHAT? (i'm paraphrasing)
He says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

LIFE WILL BE GOOD.
Life IS good. LG so agrees with that.

The music was perfect, just too perfect to last forever. He played the best he could with whatever breath he had left. It filled the room with pleasant memories - the first time he dug out great courage to ask me out. The first time he held my hand. The first time we kissed, and when he finally proposed to me. By the time he was at the chorus, I was already weeping hard, and he was already losing his momentum.

“Zafron…” I muttered his name, again and again. Each time my heart sunk deeper, hope drained away from me every second, and my voice was becoming more desperate. “Zafron…? Don’t go… Please, don’t leave me…don’t leave us…”

♥ loves.