you're a mystery yourself

04 June, 2008

12:16 PM

I've got other things to post abt but i think this is more important.

Yes, it has affected a lot of ppl...all except one. I've been bothered by it, but i don't want to say much cos i don't want this to allow ppl to hv a negative impression on her. I don't know what happened to her or why this happened so suddenly. All i know is that i wished it all didn't happen. Guys, i know how y'all are feeling now. I've exp'ced the pain even before this, but this is overboard. If it's only me, it's okay...maybe i still can handle this, but now so many ppl are affected... I hate any of you being pulled into this and feeling part of my pain. I...I...don't know what to do or where to go... I'm tired of this. I've got no more strength to go through this anymore. I've helped 2 of you clear the misunderstandings, but basically, it's not within my means to mend this friendship. If you can, talk to each other. I can see that you both still care for one another, k? I don't want this friendship to be lost.

Now, even tho i'm not part of the misunderstandings, and i didn't leave my friends alone, i'm sandwiched btwn the whole situation. I don't understand how some of you can be okay abt it, and pretend nth happened. I didn't do anything much. I was just being a good friend. Tell me...Is that wrong??

April, 2008

That very day, she turned up for school, just like always. I recognised her - her face was still the same one i knew since the day I met her, but inside, she wasn't the same; she wasn't the friend i thought she was to me. She changed, and i didn't like a single bit of it.

I took a few steps towards her. "He -" I wanted to greet her, but she took no notice. The situation with her had worsened over the year, but i decided to bear with her time and time again. I turned away to hide my disappointment. Why? Why was she like this? Wasn't I her friend? She saw me, but didn't even bother to say 'hi'... I...I need to calm down. Maybe if i just pretended nothing happen, and treat her better, it'll all be okay...

I smiled to myself, thinking today was a brand new start for our broken friendship. But then, i saw her with HER... The person whom she mixed with these weeks. They gleamed at each other and i winced. I wasn't jealous, i was too far behind to catch up with the change. My friend...she headed for the wrong path - a path that was due for worse, and forgiving was to make myself feel better, because i had no more energy left. Every energy was used up in fighting for her - that she isn't wrong, I was just too sensitive. I tried to make her happy so maybe she would change her attitude toward me and the people around her, but my efforts were down for nothing. Nothing changed.

A total stranger, a broken soul.

♥ loves.