you're a mystery yourself

19 April, 2008

8:03 PM

Rants.

Mom assumes that i got hurt by my bro's and other ppl's words. Dad think i'm getting emotional bcos of other's problems. Great, another misunderstanding. Why do they hv to say some things which are totally not related to my problem and comments that prick m so badly? Can't they just be understanding and not blabber nonsense the moment they see me? Can't they comprehend that i need space to straighten out my thoughts first before answering one of their many qns?

My mom said that it's a small prob. having mean words said to me, and she also said that friendships are not impt. cos in the world out thr, thr would surely be betrayal. ??! She asked me why i am so emotional over smth little when she has no idea what the problems are. "Why get hurt by your friend?" How NOT to be impacted by their insensitivity? I'm human and i hv feelings. Of course i'll feel crushed if my friends treat me like a junk. But nvm, i know my mom wanted to help. She just caught me at the wrong time.

Mummy's so sweet at times. Wanted to buy the $40 dress for me (: And she understood me after readin this, haha.

Well, today i tried fixing a misunderstanding btwn 2 of my friends, but i guess i made it worse. My intention was only to help! If i knew things would turn out this way, then maybe i wouldn't hv interfered. But then again, the 2 of them won't clear this mess themselves...and i can't sit here and look at my friends angry at each other and do nothing, right?

Anw, i talked to one of them on MSN. And the last words were, "okay fine. it's my fault okay." I didn't mean that it was her fault... Why must she blame herself, and in turn hurt the both of us? If you know it isn't your fault, as in it rly isn't, then why take the blame? I feel lousy that you're shouldering the burden yourself.

The real problems...
I treated you like a friend, and you? You treated me like dirt. Dirt... You can't always rely on me whenever you want to that it's like you're using me more than trusting me. I'm not your personal "helper". Yes, i'm not helping you by giving or doing the things you want. I shldn't hv pampered you so much. And i'm sorry for that. Also, whenever you find somebody else to be with, you forget abt me...you forget abt your other friends...or perhaps, more like you won't bother abt us until you want to find a new somebody again. You said we were friends, but friends don't leave friends...they acknowledge them and rmbs them wherever they go.

A true friend cares.

When i offered you help recently, instead of a simple 'thanks' of gratitude, you gave me a stare as if blaming me for not being thr. But the truth was that you left me...and you went further and further from me that you didn't realise i was missing until when you needed me again. Am i a standby junkie?...

♥ loves.